The Old Soul

For most of my life, people have assumed that I’m older than I am.
An old soul in a young body.
“You look young, but your energy is old and wise.”

When you have to grow up fast and you see the world for what it is, sometimes it loses its magic.
I’ve always seen life clearly—sometimes too clearly—and as a kid, I let the world steal my magic.

When people think you’re older, they treat you like you’re older.
They handle you like someone who’s been here before… someone who knows… someone who has experience.
Someone who’s strong, wise, and doesn’t need help.

So things move fast.
And suddenly I’m placed in a role I’ve never done before.
A job I didn’t ask for.
A role I wasn’t qualified for.
But I still took it.

That role, as a kid, meant being the mature one.
The responsible one.
The caretaker.
The peacekeeper.
The one holding everything together.
The one absorbing other people’s issues.
Being the “old soul” meant making no mistakes, doing everything right, and trying to be perfect because… who else would?

So as an adult, that translates into this old soul constantly trying to make her young body catch up to where I “think” I’m supposed to be.
It’s an exhausting race.
Like trying to pass the baton, but never getting close enough for my other half to grab it.

I often forget that I’m actually younger than I feel.
And I have to remind myself that this pressure, these expectations, this responsibility…
is a job I never asked for.

When I feel out of control, it’s usually because my timeline isn’t matching up—because the world isn’t moving quickly enough for me to pass the baton.

AGE AIN’T NOTHING BUT A NUMBER.
You’re as young or as old as you feel on the inside.
Life tells us to rush, to catch up, to act like we’re late.

But I’m realizing that life is not a race.
Because as morbid as it sounds…
making it to the finish line would mean death.
That would be the only time the race is truly over.

AGE AIN’T NOTHING BUT A NUMBER.

And I no longer want to chase death—
chase milestones, chase timelines, chase who I “should” be—
instead of focusing on what I already have now.

This old soul is tired of running.